H.P. takes on the Premier League

The Hairy Putter goes so hard that I’ll keep this brief. But not without another NFL division recap. Tonight, we have the NFC West:

49er’s, 2-0

Here’s the thing about Kyle Shanahan. He’s Mike Shanahan’s son! Did you know this? Crazy. Mike Shanahan could produce running backs in Denver from thin Mile High air. It never mattered who was back there. They’d go for 1400 yards a season. It was a core belief of Shanahan’s team building philosophy. I don’t remember where, but Kyle is on record for holding the same belief with quarterbacks. The natural extension of a father’s legacy to his son’s unyielding thirst for Progress. Heavy stuff. If Kyle could do for QB’s what Mike did for RB’s, then Kyle would perpetually have a leg up on the league. Radical. Well, it’s worked thus far in SF. Shanahan took Jimmy Garoppolo to the Super Bowl. He’s made the very last pick in the draft, 7th rounder Brock Purdy, into one of the NFC’s best. Now, with Purdy sidelined again, he’ll try his luck with Mac Jones. Jones put up 279yds and 3 touchdowns last week. After flaming out in New England, the next 3 weeks in SF (Santa Clara) are all his (but mostly Kyle’s).

Rams, 2-0

Matt Stafford is back, brittle, and hummin. The offense retains it’s line, Kyren Williams, and Puka. Chris Shula plays a classic bend-don’t-break defense that is excruciating to watch for Rams fans, but should get this team to 10 wins.

Cardinals, 2-0

Marvin Harrison, Jr put on a ton of muscle this offseason, but is probably bad at football. 2-0 is a great start for the Desert Birds. Shame it had to come in the same year that the Rams and Niners kept pace.

Seahawks, 1-1

Is Sam Darnold 2 wins better than Geno Smith? If the answer is Yes, then playoffs. If the answer is No, then Geno Smith. I like coach Mike Macdonald’s hats from last year and I’d be super disappointed if he has to wear this year’s tiny logo version.

Enough yammerin - get to H.P.

The people have been clamoring:

♫
“KMARK you wankers,
We know you might be Yankees,
Earth to Hairy Putter,
Are you even alive?
Because if there is no Prem talk,
We’ll UNSUBSCRIBE!”
♫

With matchweek 4, a full international break, and day 1 of Champions League football now behind us, it’s past time that HP minds your stadium chant and grabs the game by the scruff of the neck. 

Before we get too far down the line, an accusation audit for you, the scrupulous reader:

- I started following the Premier League in 2015

- I am an Arsenal supporter (not that kind of gooner)

- I tune into about 90% of The Football (live, YouTube recaps, pods - shoutout The Football Ramble, Fozcast, The 2 Robbies, and more)

- My “Ball Knowledge” skews guts and eyeballs - not exactly a tactician

- I genuinely love it all

This season has been widely described as having the potential to be the most competitive title race we’ve seen in years, and I really want to agree. There was some fascinating business done up and down the league this summer (more on that in a moment),  and as a result, the Barclays feels far less predictable than recent seasons. The competitiveness towards the middle and bottom of the table feels like the hallmark difference this season and could very well bleed its way towards the top, and the bigger sides are tested damn near every weekend. To me, however, there are 2 probable ways this all plays out.

1. Liverpool simply suffocates the rest of us, slowly but surely, and perhaps even more convincingly than last year.

2. Liverpool and Arsenal deliver a thrilling heavyweight bout that comes down to the final month of the season.

My official prediction? I can’t escape the feeling that Liverpool repeats. Their first 4 stunning league wins might have something to do with that, but the reality is that they greatly improved upon the best attack in the league and appear hungry as ever for more silverware. Isak has a legit claim to the Best All-Around Striker in the World, and the refined version of Ekitike, who’s gotten off to an eye-catching start already. Their achilles heel could come in the form of defensive depth, as they failed to get the Guehi deal over the line. He could very well be a Red come January, especially if the squad picks up a key injury or two – something they were able to avoid last season. 

To many, Arsenal are the most serious challenger to Liverpool, and to others who are chronically online, doomed to 2nd place for eternity, having just signed a farmers league merchant in Viktor Gyokeres. The reality is that Arteta’s vision might finally be realized in the depth afforded at every position. Much like last season, however,  squad depth is a leading story, with injuries to Saka, Saliba, and Odegaard forcing Arteta to flex his newfound squad strength and weather the early storm. The returns have been cautiously promising, and their defensive quality appears to be as reliable a feature as exists in world football. The only question that matters: Can this group get it over the line? I want to believe, but it’s the hope that kills you. 

Given my aforementioned 2 most probable title outcomes, it shouldn’t surprise you that I won’t expound detailed assessments of each club (KMARK likes to keep it somewhat pithy). But that doesn’t mean there’s not something worth contemplating with each club. Here’s my list:

- Can Manchester City regain its silky aura of inevitability? Not quite, at least not this season.

- Has Sunderland returned to the top flight with a proper home fortress? With proven statesman Granit Xhaka pulling the strings and impressive results so far, there might be plenty of joy to come at the Stadium of Light.

- Is the south coast rivalry between Bournemouth and Brighton the best rivalry of “the rest”? Much has been made of Brighton’s data-driven approach to recruitment, but can Bournemouth reload after losing several key pieces from last year’s campaign? I’m bullish on this fixture.

- When will Ruben Amorim get sacked? That poor Grimsby Town keeper must be gutted at the state of his boyhood club. 

- Is Chelsea emerging as a legitimate title threat? I am a reformed believer in the Chelsea project, but I do still think they’re a year away from proper title contention.

- Big Ange or Thomas Frank? Who has more success with their newfound expectations at Forest and Spurs, respectively? I unfortunately think Spurs might be very good. 

- Which under-the-radar signings will pop? Evann Guessand (Aston Villa), Amine Adli (Bournemouth), Maxim De Cuyper (Brighton), Christantus Uche (Crystal Palace), Jacob Ramsey (Newcastle), Mathys Tel (Spurs), come to mind.

- Which big-name signings will pay off? I’ve got: Eberechi Eze (Arsenal), Kyle Walker (Burnley), Joao Pedro (Chelsea), Jack Grealish (Everton), Hugo Ekitike (Liverpool), Rayan Cherki (Man City), Yoane Wissa (Newcastle), Joao Palhinha (Spurs), Igor Julio (West Ham).

Final predictions:

Champion - Liverpool

Champions League Qualifiers - Arsenal, Man City, Chelsea, Spurs

Europa League Qualifiers - Newcastle, Bournemouth

Europa Conference League Qualifiers - Aston Villa

Relegated - Wolves, Burnley, Leeds United

FA Cup - Brighton

Carabao Cup - Man City

See you bright and early this weekend and all season long as we take in the Barclays action.